Sunday, December 8, 2019


I’m such a pushover. Big Dope is enjoying his last hours without adult supervision. He’s acting a little strange, even for him. I won’t say what he’s up to for other people may see this and report to the authorities, or “The Authority,” if you choose.

Sensing my amicability (a Falloonian trait known through numerous galaxies) he asked me to take the current rescue puppy for her morning walk. I put on my best smile. “Hell no,” I said. “do it yourself.”

Falloonian kindness only goes so far.

“I’ll get you your own laptop,” he said.

“With Kingdom Hearts 3?"

“And Resident Evil 2.”

“Could I have some fun on the walk?”

Minutes later I was leading the little demon through a city park near here. The first shape I chose was the Frankenstein monster. There were only a few kids playing in the park. One was swinging and looking at her cell phone as I walked by. There were a couple of others walking around the track. One was talking on her phone. I walked right past her. The other did look at me. She frowned and said, “Halloween’s past, old Boomer.” I pondered this and walked on.

Feeling discouraged, I led Miss Demolition into a wooded but vacant lot. I shifted into a shape I knew would elicit recognition. Oh yes. Elvis. I tried it out on the track. The two girls looked at me and walked right past. I couldn’t resist.

“Ladies,” I said. “Don’t you recognize me?”

They looked at me intently. “No,” said the older of the two. “Who the hell are you?”

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