Friday, December 6, 2019


I, (we if you prefer), sat minding my (our)  own business this morning. I was reading history. Left Head was piecing a jigsaw puzzle on a laptop, and Right Head was designing a new Idiom Distilling Intergalactic Operational Translator. As much as I caution him, he insists on having us call it our “Internal IDIOT.”

Anyway, Big Dope walks in and asks what we are doing.

“Reading history,” I said

“Exercising one-third of our brainpower,” Left Head said.

“None of your ‘coitusing’ business,” Right Head said.

He ignored that. “What history?”

“The life of Robert E. Lee.”

Big Dope smirked. “As a cautionary tale?”

I ignored him. “I like him,” Left Head said.

“Why? Don’t you know he once had 15,000 men make a suicidal assault on an entrenched position in an attempt to preserve slavery? And now some in our state celebrate his birthday?”

“I like his sense of humor,” Left Head said.

“Sense of humor? Robert E. Lee?”

“Yeah,” Right Head said. “He referred to his little slave children as his "ebony mites." How could we not celebrate the birthday of a man with such a sense of humor?”

That got us rid of Big Dope for a while.

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