Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Ask the Alien: Sulking

Dear Ask the Alien:
My husband sulks. I’m too ladylike to confide in you why he sulks. Let’s just say that he does. I’ve learned to ignore him but it puts the whole house in a somber mood and I don’t get to laugh a lot, and I love to laugh, mostly at my husband, but that only makes him sulk more. Any advice?

Dear Distracted:
First, don’t feel as though you are alone. One of the overwhelming characteristics that I have documented about the male of your species is its tendency to sulk when it doesn’t get, let’s just say it doesn’t get its way. A close— call her an acquaintance—shared her treatment with me and other relief-seekers agree that it works. When the husband goes into what she calls. “full sulk mode,” she simply says, loudly enough for all to hear, “Oh, is de big bad booty mansey wansey upsy set cause him didn’t get his way? Whatsa matter little oopsy doopsy? Can’t you make a smiley-face for mommie?”

As you can guess, it does nothing to change his behavior, but it delights the family cats to the point where they giggle, chortle, and dance around the sulker until gloom is chased from the premises.

Of course, another sure cure is a sulk-induced shopping spree at a super-swank shoe shop.
Your Friend,
The Alien C.W.

If all else fails: remind them that John Wayne didn't sulk. - C.W.

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