Thursday, October 1, 2015


Dear Ask the Alien:
My wife drives me crazy when we go shopping. After we find what we came for, she continues to look. No matter how much I try to explain to her that there may be a good football game on TV, she insists on wasting my time by looking at items she has no intention of purchasing. How can I get her to leave?
Missing Kickoff

Dear Missing Kickoff:
Recently I saw something at a park that might solve your problem. It was designed for a child, but should work with a wife. It is a halter with a leash attached and allows one to control the movements of a …

Please pardon the delay. Someone disagreed with my answer to your question and I had to wait until my knuckles quit hurting before I could type again. I would simply say to you, let your wife have her fun. I’m sure she deserves it. Mrs. Big Dope certainly does.
Your Friend,
Have a question for “Ask the Alien?” Send it via “comments,” below.
Fans tell me that men have actually grown old and passed
 away while waiting for their wives to finish shopping. - C.W.

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