Friday, October 23, 2015

Ask the Alien: Addiction

Dear Ask The Alien:
My teen-aged son has become addicted to watching a program on cable TV called Fox News. I fear this will have a long-term negative effect on his mental health. I suspect that his interest has to do with the fact that all the female actors on the show are attractive blonds. In fact, my son has taken to draping a large blanket over him while he watches. Nothing on my part seems to work. For example, yesterday I told him that I had read where watching that particular channel would make a person stupid and that he should stop watching it—stop it immediately. He looked at me with that precious face and said. “Can I just do it until I need remedial English?” Any advice?
You know, I think I need to do more research on this channel.
Anyone know where I might find it? - C.W.

Dear Distraught:
You have taken the wrong approach. Teenagers embrace stupidity. They don’t eschew it. Have you listened to their music? For better results, tell him that you read where watching the show causes acne.
Your Friend,
The Alien C.W.

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