Dear Ask The Alien
How does all that (2 tons per month) Heroin get from the
Afghan to Philly (where I live)? As an alien, you must know if nonhumans are
getting this toxic material past the NSA.
First, allow me to dispel an odious rumor. NSA agents are
not aliens. They, particularly their TSA cousins, scarcely ever exhibit the
Alien-like characteristics of charm, poise, empathy, intelligence and good
humor. No, they are ordinary Americans. Now, as far as nonhumans getting the material into the country, have you
considered the never-ending stream of congressional fact finding missions to
the Middle East?
The Alien C.W.