Saturday, October 24, 2015

Ask the Alien: Smuggling

Dear Ask The Alien
How does all that (2 tons per month) Heroin get from the Afghan to Philly (where I live)? As an alien, you must know if nonhumans are getting this toxic material past the NSA.

Dear Anonymous:
First, allow me to dispel an odious rumor. NSA agents are not aliens. They, particularly their TSA cousins, scarcely ever exhibit the Alien-like characteristics of charm, poise, empathy, intelligence and good humor. No, they are ordinary Americans. Now, as far as nonhumans getting the material into the country, have you considered the never-ending stream of congressional fact finding missions to the Middle East?
Your Friend,
The Alien C.W.

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