How does all that (2 tons per month) Heroin get from the Afghan to Philly (where I live)? As an alien, you must know if nonhumans are getting this toxic material past the NSA.
Signed,
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous:
First, allow me to dispel an odious rumor. NSA agents are not aliens. They, particularly their TSA cousins, scarcely ever exhibit the Alien-like characteristics of charm, poise, empathy, intelligence and good humor. No, they are ordinary Americans. Now, as far as nonhumans getting the material into the country, have you considered the never-ending stream of congressional fact finding missions to the Middle East?
Your Friend,
The Alien C.W.
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