Nightmares

It's this way... I never know whether C.W. sleeps or not. He pretends to, but then he may just be having some fun at my expense. In either case, he slides in this morning as I was writing, looking much like a sleepy, confused teenaged boy, rubbing his eyes and yawning.
"I had a nightmare last night," he said.
I continued typing. "That's nice," I said.
"It scared me."
"That's nice."
"Are you even listening?"
That got my attention. I stopped and looked at him. "What's up?"
"I had this scary dream."
"About what?"
"That weird preacher who's running for president."
I thought. "The one that acts a little crazier each day?"
"That's him."
"So what did he do in your dream?"
"It was about that bizarre woman in Kentucky, too."
"There are lot of bizarre women in Ky...." Then it dawned on me. "Oh," I said. "That one."
"Yeah," he said. "The one they locked up."
"Yep. But what did she have to do with the crazy preacher?"
"Did you see where he offered to take her place in jail?"
"Seems I read something about that. Why?"
"In my dream they took him up on his offer."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah. They let her out and locked him up."
"A real zero-sum exchange," I said.
"He got out after awhile, in my dream."
"None the worse for wear, I hope."
"Oh no. He seemed very happy."
"To see his wife and family, I suppose."
"Oh no," he said. "Just the opposite."
This really got my attention. I turned and said, "Tell me more."
"He was holding hands with someone."'
"Really?" I said. "His lawyer."
"No, another inmate."
"No. Who?"
"A big, ugly, mean-looking man."
"Get out of town."
"Really," he said. "You won't believe what he told the reporters."
"What?"
"He said, 'I have quit ignoring this thorn in my side, and I'd like to introduce you to my fiancé, Rufus Lee.' Then he started to leave."
"What happened next?"
"He said, 'I'd talk more but we're going over and get my divorce papers and a marriage license. You can get them both at the same place in this county.'"
"C.W," I said, 'why don't you go back to bed?"

See also: www.wattensawpress.com
www.allhatnocattle.com