You should try getting information from Big Dope. Take
yesterday. All I wanted to know was the meaning of what you Earthlings call “Black
Friday.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered him while he was playing his
banjo. “Dummkopf,” was all he said. My Galactic Universal Translator indicates
that this is not a complimentary term.
I usually trust my GUT, but Left Head had to push it. “Don’t white people take part in it too?”
“Idiota,” he said.
My GUT told me to drop it, but Right Head intervened. "Isn’t your
job to enlighten us on Earthling customs?”
“Dinky đầu! Beaucoup dinky đầu!”
I determined that is was time for adult involvement. “Just
give us a good explanation in plain English,” Can’t you provide a simple thought
in your native tongue?”
His face turned read, veins stood out on his throat. He raised
a finger toward the ceiling and struggled to find his voice.
“Notafinga,’ he said. “Noafinga eye god!”
We should have let it drop. Our GUT told us so. But Right
Head, always the voice of reason, nodded in to calm the situation. “Why don’t you
just take us shopping? We’ll shift into that woman running for Governor.”
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