Did I have a great time yesterday or what? I shapeshifted myself into a replica of your politician Hillary Clinton, dressed myself in a tight pantsuit and walked down the main street of a small town near Little Rock. I caused two automobile wrecks and several pedestrian collisions. One man ran out on his lawn yelling so hard that his face turned red and he fainted. Another man came out of a church and called me “the, the, the … the Antichristess.” Parents were yanking their kids out of the front yard and dragging them indoors. When the first guns appeared, I ducked behind a building and shifted into a Nazi General. Things calmed down and I finished my walk without further incident. I can’t wait to tell those back in Falloonia about it. But don’t tell Big Dope. He made me promise not to upset people unnecessarily.