Sunday, June 15, 2014

205. Games

“You what?”

“I lost the 20 dollars you gave me. Now I need to borrow a hundred more.”

“You what?”

“Would you please quit yelling?”

“C.W.,” I said, “I have couple of questions.” I looked him over. He appeared much like a young college student in shorts, flip-flops, and a shirt that said, “Kiss me. I’m Irish” printed on it.

“What questions?”

“First,” I said, “how did you lose the 20 dollars?”

“It’s sort of a long story.”

“I have plenty time.”

“It’s like this,” he said. “These two units from the Gamalafferin Galaxy stopped by for a visit and I taught them this game your species loves to play.”

“A game?”


“And what game would that be?”

“The one you call ‘poker’ and you play with cards.”

“So you taught them to play poker?”

“Yes. They were slow learners at first but they caught on after a while.”


“They won my, your, 20 dollars.”

“It is gone?”

“I’m fearful or scared witless so.”

“I’m 'afraid' also, afraid you have been taken for a sucker.”

“A what?”

“Never mind. Tell me why you need to borrow a hundred more.”

“They are coming back.”

“Coming back?”

“They enjoyed the game, so they plan to stop by again.”

“To gamble?”

“Yes,” he said. “This time I’ll up the ante and win my money back.”

“C.W.,” I said. “Sit down.”

He did and I began to explain how it won’t work that way.

“There’s an old gambling adage,” I said. “Scared money doesn’t win.”

He looked confused. “How do you scare money?”

“It’s just a saying,” I said. “It means you shouldn’t gamble when you are afraid of losing.”

“Isn’t your species always afraid of losing?”

“Oh no,” I said. “They always expect to win. Didn’t you?”

He looked sheepish, and that is not a pleasant look on an alien. “I suppose,” he said. “But it is statistically impossible for everyone to win. Doesn’t your species understand that?”

“My species is statistically challenged,” I said. “Computing probabilities is not its strong suit.”

“I’ll say,” he said, “They told me there is this place in their sector where they bet on people throwing little cubes with dots stamped on them. Pretty dumb, huh?”

“Some folks would say so,” I said. “But tell me. Are you sure these guys, uh… units, didn’t know how to play poker?”

He thought for a second, understanding seeming to settle upon him. “You know, they might have. Then the thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter would be on me.”

I think I could get this gambling thing down
with more practice and better friends. - C.W.
“The 'joke' may certainly have been on you.”

“Now,” he said, “can I have that hundred dollars?”

“You haven’t learned your lesson about playing poker with these units?”

“Oh sure,” he said, as if he were trying to explain matrix algebra to a Rhesus Monkey, “tonight I’ll teach them how to play blackjack.”

Also see
And click an ad or two to help me get my own computer. - C.W.

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