“So,” he said, “I think your species has what you earthlings
call a “deep romantic or sexual attachment/intentional intense dislike”
relationship with science.”
“We seem to have a “love/hate” relationship with many
things,” I said.
“With science it is strange,” he said. “You love to take
your antibiotics, even for viruses.” He stopped and shook his head sadly. “But
the facts of natural selection cause you to feel uncomfortable. That is unique
in the Galaxy. Don’t your schools teach the relationship between medicine and evolution,
as you call it?”
“I’m not sure how much longer we will teach science in our
schools,” I said. This made me feel nauseated so I moved the subject a few points to windward. “What about
our obsession with religion?”
That’s when he went into his act. Here it is verbatim, with
apologies to Judge Noah S. "Soggy" Sweat, Jr.
“If, when you say religion you mean the evil institution,
the hateful scourge, the bloody fiend that contaminates the innocent mind,
dethrones reason, destroys cities, creates misery and hegemony, yea, flies
airplanes into buildings, and traumatizes young children with the image of a loving
spirit figure who has a fiery pit awaiting them; if you mean the evil concept
that topples men and women from the pinnacle of logical, carefree living into
the bottomless pit of ignorance, and hatred, and distrust and violence, and despair,
that persecutes those whom nature blesses with a unique sexuality, skin color,
or gender, then certainly I think your species has a problem—a big problem.
“But, if when you say religion you mean the oil of community
life, the philosophic elixir that binds people and nations, the sublime thoughts
that are explored when people get together, that puts music in the hearts and
laughter on the lips of those gathered, and the warm glow of contentment in
their eyes; if you mean universal charity, if you mean the stimulating contemplation
that puts the spring in the old gentleman’s step in his twilight years; if you
mean the way of life which enables one to magnify joy and happiness, and to
forget, if only for a little while, life’s great tragedies, and heartaches, and
sorrows; if you mean that religion that comforts the poor in spirit, exalts the
meek, honors the peacemaker and seeks universal righteousness through good will,
mercy, and purity in heart, the goodness of which provides tender care for our
sick children, our blind, our deaf, our pitiful, aged, infirm;
and least of those among us, I think your spirituality train would be on the right
track.”
 |
| Please tell me more about this kindly old man who runs the fiery pits of Hell. - C.W. |
I nodded.
“But,” he continued before I could speak, “it does seem to
me that the train has veered off course of late, and a debilitating
indifference has allowed it to happen.”
Out of the mouths of aliens.
“Now,” he said, “let us go and see what Kate Middleton is
wearing today.”
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