“I lost the 20 dollars you gave me. Now I need to borrow a
hundred more.”
“You what?”
“Would you please quit yelling?”
“C.W.,” I said, “I have couple of questions.” I looked him
over. He appeared much like a young college student in shorts, flip-flops, and
a shirt that said, “Kiss me. I’m Irish” printed on it.
“What questions?”
“First,” I said, “how did you lose the 20 dollars?”
“It’s sort of a long story.”
“I have plenty time.”
“It’s like this,” he said. “These two units from the Gamalafferin Galaxy stopped by for a
visit and I taught them this game your species loves to play.”
“A game?”
“Yep.”
“And what game would that be?”
“The one you call ‘poker’ and you play with cards.”
“So you taught them to play poker?”
“Yes. They were slow learners at first but they caught on
after a while.”
“And?”
“They won my, your, 20 dollars.”
“It is gone?”
“I’m fearful or scared witless so.”
“I’m 'afraid' also, afraid you have been taken for a sucker.”
“A what?”
“Never mind. Tell me why you need to borrow a hundred more.”
“They are coming back.”
“Coming back?”
“They enjoyed the game, so they plan to stop by again.”
“To gamble?”
“Yes,” he said. “This time I’ll up the ante and win my money
back.”
“C.W.,” I said. “Sit down.”
He did and I began to explain how it won’t work that way.
“There’s an old gambling adage,” I said. “Scared money doesn’t
win.”
He looked confused. “How do you scare money?”
“It’s just a saying,” I said. “It means you shouldn’t gamble
when you are afraid of losing.”
“Isn’t your species always afraid of losing?”
“Oh no,” I said. “They always expect to win. Didn’t you?”
He looked sheepish, and that is not a pleasant look on an
alien. “I suppose,” he said. “But it is statistically impossible for everyone
to win. Doesn’t your species understand that?”
“My species is statistically challenged,” I said. “Computing
probabilities is not its strong suit.”
“I’ll say,” he said, “They told me there is this place in
their sector where they bet on people throwing little cubes with dots stamped
on them. Pretty dumb, huh?”
“Some folks would say so,” I said. “But tell me. Are you
sure these guys, uh… units, didn’t know how to play poker?”
He thought for a second, understanding seeming to settle
upon him. “You know, they might have. Then the thing that someone says to cause
amusement or laughter would be on me.”
 |
| I think I could get this gambling thing down with more practice and better friends. - C.W. |
“The 'joke' may certainly have been on you.”
“Now,” he said, “can I have that hundred dollars?”
“You haven’t learned your lesson about playing poker with
these units?”
“Oh sure,” he said, as if he were trying to explain matrix
algebra to a Rhesus Monkey, “tonight I’ll teach them how to play blackjack.”
Also see www.wattensawpress.com
And click an ad or two to help me get my own computer. - C.W.
