Teachings

Friends and followers: Big Dope is out walking but it was too cold for me, so I have been pondering the religious practices of your species, particularly those who profess to follow the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth.

There seems to be a growing paranoia and general dissatisfaction among some of you and this intrigues me. Some of it seems to reside in the fact that your current President is a person of color. This puzzles me as the source of your religion was also a person of color.

I think it might have something to do with too much time on your hands.

So.

I have pondered the teachings of your Christ and I offer the following. Study these—his words—contemplate them, digest them and determine how to form your life around them and this will occupy you for the rest of your mortal life. Perhaps it will also make you happier with things. Here they are:

 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they will be filled.

The Falloonian Elders have selected this
passages as one of the best signs for the
future of your species but we rarely see
it mentioned in your rituals. - C.W.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

 

Just an idea.

- The Alien C.W.