I did. He made a big show of shuffling several times, then
cutting the deck twice before spreading it on the table in front of us. He
waved a hand over the cards in a mysterious fashion and then suddenly plucked
one from the deck. He held it up to me.
“Is this your card?”
“Uh, no,” I said.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“I’ll be a Kodamflabbugast,”
he said, employing a word for the Falloonian units with slow intellects.
“C.W.,” I said. “Why the sudden interest in magic?” I had to
admit, he was dressed for the part, tuxedo, top hat, and all.
“Money to be made in illusions,” he said. “Trouble is—I need
an assistant.” He slumped and looked toward the kitchen. “Think Mrs. Big Dope
might change her mind?”
I said, “I doubt it.”
“Even if I drop the part about the sexy outfit?”
“You’ll have to ask her.”
He thought for a moment and apparently abandoned the idea. I
thought it was a good decision.
“So what makes you think there is money to be made in
magic?”
He leaned back in his chair and took off his top hat. A
pigeon flew from within it and flew to the back of chair. “Your species seems
to thrive on illusions,” he said. “I simply thought I would take advantage of
it.” He unbuttoned his tuxedo jacket. A small rabbit peeked from inside.
“Everyone else does it.” The rabbit nodded in agreement.
“Does what?”
“Takes advantage of your trait of being easily fooled or
cheated.”
“Are you trying to say our gullibility?”
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”
I said, “Forget it. Tell me why you think my species is
gullible.”
He thought. “For one thing,” he said, “you think reality TV
is real.”
I had to agree somewhat. “I don’t,” I said. “But there are some who do.”
“They are the ones who spend money,” he said.
“Maybe so,” I said. “Any other examples?”
“Professional wrestling?”
“That appeal is limited,” I said. “Most folks view it as
entertainment. Only a few take it seriously.”
“But they are allowed to mingle, drive, and vote.”
He had me there. My confidence was waning. “Anything else?”
“You used to think you had to sacrifice folks to make the
crops grow.”
“Ah,” I said, sensing an opportunity. “But we don’t believe
that anymore.”
“But now you believe you have to sacrifice some folks to
make the economy grow.”
“But we have our share of educated units,” I said, using his
terminology. “They see through things.”
 |
| Any species that truly believes making rich people richer will make poor people rich someday needs to re-examine its cognitive capabilities. - C.W. |
“Like your supreme public officials appointed to decide
cases in a court of law? The ones who believe a corporation is a human being?”
Ouch.
“And I’m not even going to get into the areas of talking
snakes and boats full of lions and tigers.” The rabbit shuddered.
“Look,” I said. “Let’s change the subject.” I decided to
confess. “That really was my card you picked. I was just fooling with you
because I was tired of the magic show.”
“You deceived me for your own ends?”
I sighed and slumped in my chair. “Yes,” I said. “Yes I did.
Yes.”
“Well I’ll be a Kodamflabbugast,”
he said.
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