We were walking along the river, C.W. and I. He chose his Edward R. Murrow shape so he could smoke a cigarette as we walked. He likes to flip them at rude bicyclists. I try to discourage him but a “get out of the way,” will result in a speeder with a butt in his ear every time. Anyway …
“What is the thing you call a ‘single issue voter,’ in your political races,” he said.
“It refers to,” I said, “someone who decides their vote upon one issue and who pretty much ignores the others, no matter how important they might be.”
“Single issues such as?”
“Abortion is a big one,” I said, “and guns, and Bible quotes.”
“Bible quotes? Just a single one or the entire Bible?”
“Oh,” I said. “Just a single quote or passage. You get into the whole Bible and it gets too confusing.”
“I can see that. Take this marriage thing. Is it one man and one woman or one man and a passel of women? And in one place, someone says don’t get married at all unless you can’t withstand your sexual urges. And another implies you better choose carefully because you mustn't get a divorce. Which is the controlling quote?”
“Depends on who you ask,” I said.
“So you also have,” he said, “one place that says, ‘an eye for an eye,’ and another that says ‘blessed are the peacemakers.’ I’m assuming that a single-issue voter can pick either one?”
“I suppose so,” I said.
“But,” he said, “some seem to pick both. One of the more difficult things for me to explain about your species is an individual specimen’s ability to harbor two contradictory thoughts at once and not go insane.”
I laughed. “Who says they don’t go insane,” I said. “Haven’t you noticed anything about the man running for president?”
“Out of the way, assholes,” someone shouted from behind us.
Seconds later there was a crash as the bike rider attempted to swat a lit cigarette from the collar of a shirt with the words, “Peace, Love, and Harmony” printed across the back.