The Falloonian Elders have given me a tough job and Big Dope refuses to help. I’m supposed to demonstrate to them how your election process evolved from a supposedly intelligent (by our “Third-Planet Classification”) species. They are, of course talking about the present election and not past ones. The assignment is certainly proving to be an objection or query as to the truth of something, often with an implicit demand for proof. (Editor’s note: He means “a challenge.”
The only way I can explain is by sending them examples of your popular media to illustrate the various forces shaping the way your species is about to elect a president of the most powerful country on your planet.
1. Masculine Mythology: I sent them movie clips illustrating the character whom actor John Wayne played in movie after movie: the strong, ultra-patriotic, manly icon. Actually, I understand that the real man was a bully, an alcoholic, and one who wouldn’t even take part, as other actors did, in War Bond drives during your second world war. But, the myth has buried the man and so some candidates seek to "channel John Wayne," as you say.
|The original "Loathsome Braggart," pro|
wrestler George George. I won't say he
reminds me of a current candidate, but
you are free to if you wish. - C.W.
2. Unsupported Braggadocio: I’ve sent clips of your TV obsession called "professional wrestling." They seem to provide the best guidance for many of the current candidates.
3. Uneducated Bigotry: Clips of All In The Family. Who represents prejudice toward strangers better than Archie Bunker?
4. Fear: Of course it is The Day the Earth Stood Still, the original, not the shoddy remake. It was already well known on Falloonia. It is actually used in our education system there to teach our young how substandard species operate through distrust and hatred of those outside their own tribes.
5. Ignorance: I had many sources for your present slandering of education and the premise that ignorant, uneducated, and clueless masses could actually run things best. I chose The Beverly Hillbillies as the characters were supposed to come from my present host state.
So … that’s my start. Feel free to offer suggestions. I have gotten one response back, a short one. It just said, “That’s a hell of a way to elect a leader.”
The Alien C.W.