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Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Morning Thoughts: Causes

C.W. and I were talking …

He was wondering how the so-called pundits manage to get things wrong so often, not only wrong but wrong to the extent of assigning contradictory causes for the same incident. He was quoting from the book The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, who said therein,

“It happens all the time: a cause is proposed to make you swallow the news and make matters more concrete. After a candidate’s defeat in an election, you will be supplied with the “cause” for the voters” disgruntlement. Any conceivable cause can do.”

I agreed, and pointed out how the causes stated often fail to come near the real reasons behind the failure. For example, in the recent election, a number of reasons for the outcome are, according to the pundits, responsible: unrest in the heartland, poor campaigning, lack of empathy, voter apathy. Take your choice. There is a pundit espousing each, and they are all right.


Not one yet, C.W. pointed out, has mentioned the possible effect of eight years of hatred spewing into the living rooms and waiting rooms of America from so-called Fox “News.”

Sunday, January 29, 2017

358. Conspiracies

“So here is the deal,” he said, taking a long pull from his cigarette. Oh yes. He, C.W, that is, was in one of his very favorite shapes, Edward R. Murrow again. “I’m organizing a vast conspiracy to assassinate an international leader in broad daylight in front of thousands of people.”

I let that sink in. We were sitting on the balcony of our condo smoking, he a "cig" and me a cigar. “Okay,” I said. “In broad daylight.”

“A vast conspiracy.”

“How vast?”

“Let’s see,” he said, and began to enumerate, “at least two foreign countries, the United States intelligence community, the FBI, the State Department, organized crime, and a myriad of citizens. Is that the right word? Myriad?”

“It is if you mean a bunch,”

“A big bunch, some of them petty criminals, two, three time losers. And we have to keep it a secret.”

“Okay,” I said, “you have your cast of characters, planning the most secretive and minutely organized act of terrorism in broad daylight in one of our country’s largest cities with cameras rolling, and you don’t want to get caught. What’s next?”

“You hire a deeply troubled person, an idiot with no experience in crime or organization, a person already under surveillance for disloyalty, to kick the whole thing off.”

“Hardly a logical choice for such a complicated assignment,” I said.

“Correctum.”

“I think you mean ‘correcto,’ don’t you?”

“Whatever. So, you think a nut-case could pull this off?”

“You would be referring to Lee Harvey Oswald?”

“No,” he said sarcastically, “Donald Duck.” He composed himself. “But ask yourself, does that make sense?”

“Not really,” I said, “but it forms a digestible narrative for the non-discerning. Go on.”

“You’re a 14-year-old-boy,” he said.

“I’m not, was once, never again, thankfully.”

“My point exactly,” he said. “Not the best of times. Your voice is changing for some reason. You are developing acne, the girls won’t talk to you, the 16-year-olds bully you constantly, you worry that you’ll never reach average height, you just don’t seem to fit in anywhere, and your grades aren’t high enough to get you into college.”

“Sounds about right,” I said. “Your point?”

“You wake up one morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and think, ‘I don’t have enough problems. I think I’ll decide to be happy, lighthearted, and carefree.’”

That confused me for a second or two, then, “I think you meant ‘gay’ didn’t you?”

“Whatever,” he said. “But yeah. It’s your language, not mine. Anyway, does it bespeak a shred of logic? 'I'll chose to be a homosexual to take my mind off my troubles?'”

“I see your point,” I said. “Want to bring it around to current events?”

“Your family is starving,” he said.

“Okay.”

“You have no money and no prospects. You hear your children crying from hunger at night.”

“Okay. Is this going somewhere?”

He ignored me. “A hundred miles of desert, snakes, killers, and other dangers away is the promise of sustenance, and hope.” He drew on his cigarette and exhaled.

“Okay.”

“Miraculously you make it to the land of plenty, but you’ve been punctured by cacti, beaten, and wounded. You are starving, exhausted, weak, penniless, and missing your impoverished family. You are a wanted criminal, fearing capture with each step you take.”

“Okay.”

“You find friends."

“Okay.”
 
What do you suppose he's thinking?
Maybe, who is the first person
he'll learn to hate, once he
masters this task? - C.W.
“They ask you what’s the first thing you want to do?”

“Okay.”

“And you say … , you say,” He stopped for dramatic effect.

“I say what?”

“You say, ‘very first thing I want is to register to vote in your elections.’”

I said nothing.

He shook his head slowly. “How in the world?”

“How in the world what?”

He looked at me and his eyes turned into eternal blackness. “How in the world did your species ever learn to make stone tools?”


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Friday, January 27, 2017

Morning Thoughs ... Music and Religion

C.W. and I were talking this morning …

He was asking me about the support of our new president among some of the more stringent elements of protestant Christianity in America. “Whatever one may think of chances that your new president may prove successful,” he said, “and we shall see, no one who has the least understanding of the Judeo-Christian religion could argue that he is a righteous man. I can see the support for him among some elements of your species, but hardly by those who call themselves godly."

I had to agree.

“There were signs,” I said, and explained that I saw it coming maybe 15 years back, but it didn’t register until lately. I used to volunteer for a community-based radio station to present a bluegrass music show once a week. (I’ve always had a fascination, to C.W.’s great amazement, with the banjo).We had a small but loyal audience, most of them religious, many of them elderly, and almost all genial and sweet … at first.

Because that type music has a strong religious element, I devoted a portion of the show to gospel bluegrass. It was a popular and graciously received segment. Groups performed many of the old gospel hymns in bluegrass style and the audience loved them, showing genuine gratitude. They would call in and make requests, thanking me for my volunteering.

Then things began to change. Callers became hostile. Comments shifted to the personal. I didn’t understand what gospel music was. This group also performed “raunchy” music and should be banned. That group had a “jap” playing in it and couldn’t love Jesus. I only played old music and didn’t play any new stuff. (What some call “Jesus is my boyfriend" music with the word "awesome" appearing at least six time). I didn’t play music about “killing all them babies.” Was I sure I had been “saved?” Contacts became more and more strident. Live festivals even began to include sermonettes against “the unholy ACLU,” liberal do-gooders (like Jimmy Carter), and disavowed politicians. A cloud of anger settled over things. Hostility joined the anger.

I soon had enough and gave it up. Had I thought it through, I might have envisioned the replacement of The Galilean with the likes of Franklin Graham.

"I've always liked the Galilean," C.W. said. "Wasn't he the one that told your species to love one another?"

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Thursday, January 26, 2017

Morning Thoughts…

C.W. and I were talking this morning …

Something my conservative friends and I agree on is that regulatory agencies, on occasion, can run amok. An example is forcing a state to write regulations protecting a fish that can’t thrive in that state. Another is enacting a reg punishable for noncompliance warning one not to stand on top of a stepladder. When your job is to write regulations, you tend to … well … write regulations, sometimes whether you need to or not.

We agree with that. Now, how about what we should do about it?

It reminds me of when I was young and tended to “get of control.” Anyone would agree that someone needed to take corrective measures.  Here’s where we differ, though, my friends and I. Sainted Mother didn’t put me in a bag and throw me in the stock pond. No, she first consulted other experts in the field of child rearing: her sisters, her own mother, and my father. They explored alternative treatments and solutions, then decided, unilaterally, all viewpoints having been considered, on the appropriate choice.

Thereupon, she very quietly sat me down and urged me to get myself into a more rational mode. I can still recall the smell of that persimmon switch an inch from my nose. Remedial reorientation proved preferable to annihilation.  I emerged intact but more socially acceptable, not the perfect lad but one who could be taken out in public.

Now, before we start abolishing regulatory agencies, consider just one of the challenges with which scientists are now wrestling. This is the increase in outdated prescription drugs flushed down the toilets of America daily. It is a relatively new phenomenon. We’re not sure what this will produce or how to deal with it, but the only thing that stands between us and possible disaster is the EPA. Isn't it time for calm and reflective thinking?

C.W. and I certainly think so.

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Sunday, January 22, 2017

357. Riches

“Do-buy on optical manufacturers.” C.W. laid his pen aside and stared into space.

“That’s nice,” I said.

“Do-buy on humidity-controlled storage buildings.”

“Super,” I answered.

Actually, I wasn’t really listening. I was reading a book titled A Time For Trumpets, about the Battle of the Bulge, and it was requiring my full concentration to keep the military units straight in my head.

“Do-buy on GlaxoSmithKline.”

That got my attention. I looked from my book to see C.W. in the form of a hollow-eyed young man with greased hair slicked back from his forehead wearing stylish clothes set off by a bright red set of suspenders. “A what for what?”

“A do-buy, you know, as in ‘buy stock’ and grow rich.”

“Who is that you just named?”

“A pharmaceutical company.”

“So you are recommending that people purchase stock in pharmaceutical companies?”

“Oh hell no,” he said. “We’re recommending those for short-selling.”

“We?”

“My investment firm and my silent partners.”
There are some great opportunities ahead,
if you don't mind the smell of sulfur. - C.W
.

“What investment firm?”

“UdaQu Financials.”

“And your partners?”

“Can’t tell you. Top secret. Let’s just say they have an uncanny feel for what companies to buy and what companies to sell short.”

“So pharmaceuticals are out?”

“Mostly,” he said, “who the hell’s gonna be able to afford drugs?”

I thought. Good point. “What about the one you named?”

“Oh,” he said. “They’re different. They make Paroxetine.”

“They make what?”

“Paxil,” he said. “Gonna need a lot of that.”

“Oh.”

He went back to his work. “Dip-and-Flip on Pfizer, Merck, and Johnson and Johnson.”

“Say what?”

“Birth control pills and devices.”

“What about them?”

“Buy like crazy when the economy tanks,” he said. “Babies aren’t too popular then. As soon as the Supreme Court is rounded out, sell and run like hell, hence, ‘dip and flip,’ Get it?”

I groaned. “You mentioned specialized storage buildings.”

“Wives,” he said.

“To store wives in?

“Oh don’t be silly.” He stopped, thought, started to say something, apparently thought better of it, and continued. “They, the wives are raising hell about all the guns and ammunition bought and hoarded during the last eight years. Seems they’re demanding that it be moved out of the house.”

“So, you and your friends are investing in storage buildings?”

“Not exactly.”

“What do you mean, not exactly?”

“Can’t tell you specifically. Let’s just say that someone dear to my partners has a … close… associate who, in turn has other friends that can furnish us with a list of people renting storerooms for this special purpose. Such a list will be a sellable and valuable commodity.”

“Hackers?”

“We don’t call them that. We call them ‘means facilitators.’ They operate under the corporate name of ‘MFs R Us,’ and they guarantee success in a wide range of ventures.”

I let that one drop. “I think I heard you mention optical manufacturers.”

“Eyeglasses,” he said.

“Pardon?”

He held up a large glossy photo of our new first lady, nude and in the embrace of another nude lady. “Simple,” he said. He looked at it and shook his head slowly. “I think the word your species uses is ‘hot,’ am I right?”

“And?”

“Oh man,” he said, “can you imagine how many 14-year-old boys are going to need eyeglasses in the coming months?”


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