Saturday, June 20, 2015

256. Taxes

Hopping mad isn't the word for it. C.W. is apoplectic. And why?
"Taxes," he said, screaming at me when he came in to the room. "What's this deal about taxes?"
He looked a lot like one of those political candidates we've been seeing so much of lately. I didn't know what to say. "What kind of taxes?"
"This thing called sales tax," he said. "It is showing complete lack of thought or common sense."
"Isn't that what I said."
"I guess," I said. "But what has you so upset about sales tax?"
"I thought," he said, "that I had almost enough to pay for my new computer."
"The salesman told me how much it would be with sales tax included."
"We've go to sell some more ads and books."
"The story of our lives," I said.
"Whose idea was this sales tax caper," he said. "Some college professor?"
"Actually no," I said. "Those in academics think it is a cruel tax. They call it regressive."
"Because everyone pays the same amount, no matter how rich or poor they are."
"If they don't like it," he said, "why do we have it?"
"It's the most popular tax with the people," I said. "It's easier to enact."
"You've got to be kidding," he said.
"No, really. Rich people like it for obvious reasons. Poor people like it because they don't notice paying it since it is taken in small amounts, and they aren't able to buy as much anyway."
"No wonder," he said. Then he looked at me with his most serious face. "Your species has a one-way ticket to Palookaville," he said. "You know this don't you?" (We've been watching some old Brando films lately). Don't ask.
"You may be right," I said.
"So you're telling me," he said, "that if I buy a computer and that Walton woman ... what's her name?"
"Yeah," he said, "the rich one. So she and I pay the same tax if we buy the same computer?"
"Uh, yes,"  said.
"But she could buy a computer factory easier than I could buy a computer."
"It gets worse," I said.
"How so?"
"If she bought a computer factory, the government would give her money."
"Tosttigadumfulsindicher," he said. That's a Falloonian term meaning ... well maybe it's best I don't tell you what it means. Let's just say it isn't a nice term.
He wasn't finished. "So one of these rich farm corporations around here would pay the same sales tax on a computer as I do?"
"It gets worse," I said."
Big Dope thinks this is funny but I don't. - C.W.

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