Sunday, January 8, 2012

77. End Times

If you remember, some time ago C.W. decided he wanted to learn to drive. Since then, he proudly announced to me one day that he had procured a driver’s license.

Don’t ask.

At any rate, it was hardly a surprise when he showed up in the country wanting to borrow a pickup truck. I have to admit that he looked quite trustworthy. He was in the form of a nice looking young man in western attire, including cowboy boots, jeans, and a flannel shirt.

Still, there was no way I was going to trust an alien to drive one of my vehicles. But I was curious to know what he wanted with a pickup truck.

“I’m collecting loot,” he said.


“Lots of loot.”

“What kind of loot?

“Mostly guitars and stuff. Some banjos and a fiddle or two.

“And where are you getting it?"

He looked a little sheepish.

“Where?” I insisted.

From folks who trust the Mayans.”

“That do what?”

“Folks who believe that the Mayans acurately predicted that the world would end this year.”


“Look, I have to go. Can I borrow the truck or not?”

”No, and what does needing a pickup truck have to do with the Mayans?”

“Oh nothing. Do you know anyone else that might have one?”




“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

But I wasn’t going to let him get away so easily. “Where are you getting stuff to haul in a truck?”

He looked at the ground and then back at me. “Well, some people are giving their things away because they think the world is going to end.”

“And what makes them think the world is going to end?”

“Because the Mayans said so.” He grinned. “It’s been in all the news.”

“And what do you believe?”

“I believe it is a good time to collect some loot.”


“Because some people don’t think they will be needing it any longer. Look, you should be buying up property all over.”


“Now listen here,” he said. “You and I have talked before about the tendency that some members of your species have for believing any weird and strange thing they are told.”


“Why shouldn’t I profit from it? Everyone else does.”

“If everyone else drove their spaceship over a cliff, would you do it too?”

The faithful are gathering for the end of times.
Will you be there? - C.W.
“What on earth are you talking about?”

“Never mind.” I said. “Have you been involved in any other way?”

He avoided eye contact.


“Well I did publish a video.”

“You did what?”

“A video,” he said. “But it’s okay.”

“And why is it okay?”

“Cause I put your name on it.”

And sure enough, he did. Click here if you would like to see it.

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