Sometimes we go walking early. Real early. Before sunrise.
We decided to give it a shot today. Left Head had heard that a lot of people
were getting up way before sunrise and he wanted to see what they were doing.
“I think it has something to do,” Right Head said, “with all
those male enhancement ads we’ve seen posted in front yards.”
We all looked at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Middle Head said.
It dawned on me. “I don’t think that is the context indicated
by the word ‘arisen’ on those signs,” I said. I explained it to them.
“Oh,” said Right Head.
“Let me ask you something,” Middle Head said.
“Not too complicated,” I said. “Nothing about politics. It’s
too early. I can’t even begin to explain current evens this early in the
morning.”
Middle Head went silent. “Go ahead and ask him,” Left Head
said. “We’re supposed to report on it.”
“Yeah,” Right Head said. “Remember the last time we failed an
assignment?”
I remembered. The Falloonian Elders had cut off their supply
of a favorite magazine-type transmittal that they love so well. “You,” I said, “didn’t
get your feeds of ‘Naughty Triple-Heads,’ for several months.”
“Ask him,” Left Head said to Middle Head. “I need to finish
this week’s report.”
“Well,” Middle Head said,” swiveling toward me, “it has to
do with this thing so many of your species has about threatening your young
children so horribly.”
“We don’t do that,” I said.
All three heads snapped toward me. It scared me a bit. “We
love our children,” I said. Then, on further thought I said, “Some individuals
love them a little too much, and in the wrong way, but we punish those if we
catch them.”
Left Head, shook back and forth, Middle head rolled three of
his eyes, and Right Head chuckled in amazement.
“What?” I said.
Middle Head spoke. “Why are all these people getting up so
early today?”
“You mean besides us?”
“Precisely.”
“For a religious service,” I said.
“And that service celebrates what?” Left Head said.
“I’ve told you before,” I said. “They celebrate the death
and resurrection of a beloved religious figure.”
“Who did what?” Left Head bore down on me.
“Who died for their sins, arose from the dead, and ascended
into glory to wait for the true believers.”
“True believers,” Left Head said. Middle Head leaned out
toward me. Right Head smirked the way he does when he senses mental carnage
about to erupt.
“Yes,” I said, “the true believers will join their leader in
a place called ‘paradise.’ They will be with that leader forever, you know: the
Galilean. Don’t tell me you don’t know who the Galilean is.”
“We’re not talking about the Galilean,” Middle Head said. “We’re
talking about those who claim that they speak directly to him.”
“Yes,” Right Head said, “the Chetedidcherltans,” using a Falloonian term I can’t translate in a
family-oriented blog.
“Think about it,” Left Head said. “What do those folks
promise to young children who don’t necessarily accept the concept of a person
dying, then arising three days later, and wafting away in a cloud? Those kids that might analyze
things a bit differently? Those who believe thinking is a free gift and should
be enjoyed? What’s in store for them?”
“Hint, hint,” Right Head said, “torment, pain, suffering, flames,
fire … am I getting warm?”
Left Head continued. “Why would a civilized and benevolent society
implant such primal fear into young minds … images of their little bodies
burning in a place called ‘hell’ for thinking about things on their own?”
“Yeah. Why?” Right head said.
 |
| The true believers have chosen some strange figures to lead their religion. - C.W. |
“Now just stop it,” I said. “We love our young folks. We
would never, as a society, wish danger, disparagement, or punishment on them
for what they believe or don’t believe.”
The three heads looked at one another in turn. Finally, two
of them nodded at Middle Head, and he spoke.
“I don’t think you’ve been paying attention to things
lately.”
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