Sunday, August 27, 2017

389: Redemption

“What on Earth?”

“I’m packing.” It was true. C.W. had a bag with essential items laid out and appeared ready to depart on some journey or other. I hoped he wasn’t going in his present form, the Galilean, since he would never make it through the first checkpoint. I suspect that a white robe and sandals on a Middle-Easterner would set off profile detector alarms all over the airport.

“Going somewhere?”.

“You remind me of the man who met a friend who said he was on his way to his brother’s funeral.”


“The man asked, “Oh, did your brother die?”

A glimmer of hope appeared. “Going back to Falloonia?”

“No the dungiderphicupageen hasn’t run out there yet.”

“The what?”

“What you call the ‘statute of restrictive boundaries.’ We have them there too.”

“Oh, you mean a statute of limitations?”

“There you go repeating what I say again.”

“What was your crime?”

“You don’t have a word for it in your language.”

“Serious, eh?”

“A case of improper identification. That’s all.”


“The word for ‘Elder-kin’ is very similar in Falloonian to ‘willing young thing,’ if you really must know.”

“Aaah. So where are you headed?”

“To Washington.”

“To Washington? Where in Washington?”

“A redemption center.”

“What are you going to redeem?”

“Not what, how? Hand me that, will you?” He pointed at a what appeared to be a set of cat o' nine tails.”

“What are you going to do with that?”

“Express my desire for redemption.”

“Your what?”

“Redemption. Our representative in the East has learned from a source that they are setting up redemption centers where the unsaved can be pardoned and returned, with the proper display of contrition, to the fold.”

“What fold?”

“The right fold.”

“As in ‘the appropriate fold?’”

“As in ‘the right fold.’”

“Aaah.” So, does flagellation serve as a justification for being brought into the ‘right’ fold?”

“I don’t know. I thought it might help. I can’t promise to vote right since I can’t vote, and I have only as much money as you are willing to give me. I don’t think you would extend me a large amount for this particular purpose.”

“You got that right. So, you think this seeking of a pardon on Earth might help with your, uh, little situation in Falloonia?”

“Oh heavens no.” He stopped and chuckled. “Listen to me, ‘oh heavens no.’ You’d think I was homesick. We have rules in Falloonia.”


“More like guidelines that we follow without fail. We don’t bend them for political purposes. Otherwise we would be no better than … .” He stopped before he said it.

“But you said you were going to seek redemption.”

“For forgiveness, actually.”

“Forgiveness for what?”

“For being a stranger in a strange land.”

“You are seeking a pardon for that?”

I don't think I heard that
ex-sheriff say that. - C.W.
"Are you going to express remorse?"

"The last one they pardoned didn't have to."

“Do you have any supporting evidence that you plan to take?”

“Only something Dad said.”

“And that was?”

“Do not deprive the foreigner or the fatherless of justice.”

“That’s only one line of the many things he said.”

“It only takes you people one line from a holy scripture to form a national policy.”

“Do you think it might work in your case?”

“It hasn’t yet, but Dad and I are the eternal optimists.”

See also:
Order Big Dope's Book at Wattensaw PressAmazon, or other book sellers.

No comments:

Post a Comment