Sunday, December 25, 2016

353: Faces

It was almost like a family reunion, of sorts. C.W. got into the Christmas spirit this year. He started out pouting because I didn’t include his picture in a little poster I did and posted on Facebook. It featured just the three of us, my wife, the mother-in-law, and me. He thinks he should have been included.

“Included as whom?” I asked. “You change more often than a teenager’s mind. I never know who you’ll be from one moment to the next. And besides … .”

“Besides what?”

“I can’t include your actual photo on a season’s greeting.”

“Why not?”

“First, it might cause the horses to bolt.”


“Second, there isn’t enough room to include all your heads.”

He allowed as how I had a point. After some haggling, we reached a compromise. His favorite shapes would each offer a season’s greeting and we would post it herein. So …

Reggie the Young Conservative: Offering the best of gifts for the coming year: tax cuts and military spending. What a time we have in store.

Rusty the teenager: Uh, like whatever…

Norman the Neo-liberal: Oh wow … let us all have a safe place to go.

Sanford the Senior Citizen: Let’s see … wait. I’ll be right back. I think I may can go now.

Arnold Awesome: May your year be far out, man.

Shorty George: May you not get shot next year.

Little Ricky: I know who you are and I’ll get you back. Just wait.

Timmie Joe the Nerd: The wise men were, like, not so wise. He would rather have had, like, a Play Station.

Lucky and Lefty, the conjoined twins:
            Lucky: May the joy of giving brighten your life.
            Lefty: Screw what Dumbass just said. Anyone get any good Scotch for Christmas? Call me.

The Alien: May you find peace this year by avoiding those who use my name to preach hate. May you find compassion by reading the words of mine that don’t support your prejudices. May you find knowledge by embracing facts over mythology. May you find strength by trusting in goodness. May you find fulfillment by striving against evil. May you find understanding by supping often with strangers. May you find the truth of love by adopting an animal. In short, may you be because you think.
Oh, and if anyone sees Joel Osteen or Franklin Graham, tell those jokers that if they see me coming they’d better run. I’ve got some presents for them. Trust in me.
And did anyone get any good Scotch for Christmas this year?

I've got some great shapes
in store for you next year. - C.W.
From all of us: As they used to say back in the 1960s: "We wish you peas and harmony grits."

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