“I’m working on common terms and phrases that I don’t
understand. Can you help me?”
“Maybe, but turn that light off. I don’t like for it to be
on while I work.”
C.W. had just interrupted me in his “learning” form. He
thinks it resembles a Ph.D., tall, short hair, a southern accent from somewhere
like the Atlantic coast. I don’t know. He uses it when the Falloonian elders
get on his case for not working hard enough. Somehow they had heard about his
new love affair with the Pokemon Go game. Anyway, “What terms?” I asked. I
tapped the base of my laptop three times, rotated it 5.0 degrees clockwise and waited.
“I think they are medical terms,” he said. “Specifically a
set of initials representing a name, organization, or the like, with each
letter pronounced separately; an initialism.”
“You mean an acronym.”
“No, I mean a set of initials …”
“It’s called an acronym,” I said, “and please don’t sit
there. It hides my view of the front yard from that window.”
“You are typing,” he said, moving a space on the couch, “not
watching the yard.”
“I check it every five minutes,” I said. “Now what terms are
troubling you.” I remembered something and stopped. “Did you move the TV remote
from its location this morning?”
“What TV remote?”
“The only one we have.”
“I think I carried into the kitchen with me. Why?”
“We mustn’t do that. It has its place on the TV stand and it
stays there.”
He ignored me. “My first term is ‘RA,’ but I think I know
what it means,” he said, consulting his notes.
“Oh?”
“Yes. When Mrs. Big Dope says you have the RA about
something, it means you have the red …”
“No,” I said. “That’s not it at all. It means, when used in
ads, ‘rheumatoid arthritis.’”
“Why don’t they call it that?”
“I don’t know,” I explained. “I guess it sounds catchier to
say RA. Oh, and don’t set your notebook there. That spot is where I keep my
dictionary.”
“Jeesh.” He said. “What a grouch.”
“Do you have another term? This is the period of time in the
morning when I watch Photoshop tutorials.”
He consulted his notes. “How about ‘COPD?’ I hear that one a
lot.”
I thought. “I think it means ‘chronic obstructive pulmonary disease,’
or something like that.” Pleased with myself, I stood and pivoted three times
and sat. “What’s next?”
“Something called ‘PTSD,’ and Mrs. Big Dope says you have it. She says that’s what makes you act funny.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I said. “Did she also tell you that she
moves the toothpaste from its proper place just to upset me?” I took three deep
breaths. “Anyway,” I said, “it stands for ‘post-traumatic stress disorder,’ and
there are those who think all military veterans suffer from it, particularly
those who served in Vietnam. And have you seen the veteran’s baseball cap I
wear on Sundays?”
“No,” he said, rather too quickly, I thought. He continued
before I could respond. “You might ask your wife. Besides,” he said, “she didn’t
say you developed that disorder during your wartime service.”
“Oh,” I said. “Then when?”
“She says it was during your honeymoon.”
“Do you have another term?” I took my ‘winter-scene’
paperweight from my desk, turned it over and watched the ‘snowflakes’ fall. It
relaxed me.
“Here’s one,” he said. “It’s called ‘OCPD.’ I think the
first two words are ‘obsessive’ and ‘compulsive,’ but I don’t know the rest.”
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