Sunday, August 14, 2016

334. Feelings

“Got a minute?”

I looked up. There was a favorite character that C.W. loved to shape himself into: Reggie the Young Conservative. Given the events of the last couple of months, this might be interesting. “Sure,” I said. “Have a seat.” I laid my book on a side table as he took a seat in front of me. “What’s up?”

“I’ve been to a party conference,” he said, straightening his bow tie.

That didn’t surprise me. He has been known to infiltrate all sorts of gatherings due to his ability to adapt his shape to the needs of the hour. I asked, “What type of conference?”

“A policy conference. We’re finalizing our platform policies for the big election.”

I knew what he wanted but I decided to play it coy. “That’s nice,” I said.

He fidgeted and opened a notebook he had carried in with him. When I didn’t respond, he said. “Wouldn’t you like to hear them?”

“Oh,” I said, “of course,” as if I had realized what he was up to for the first time. He gave me a dirty look.

“They’re great,” he said as he opened the notebook. “They’ll produce a landslide for us without a doubt.”

“That’s nice,” I said.


I nodded.

“Number One,” he said. “Anger.”


“You heard me … anger. Don’t you know what anger is.” He looked confused. “Think of Mrs. Big Dope.”

“I know what anger is,” I said. “I’ve just never thought of it as a political party platform.”

“You’re stuck in the past,” he said. “Number Two,” he looked to see my reaction. “Resentment.”

“Resentment of what?”

“Not what,” he said. “Whom.”

“Then whom?”

“People who don’t normally vote for our party.”

I groaned. “C.W. …”

“Reggie,” he said.

“Reggie,” I said. “Resentment is not a policy.”

“Three,” he said, “Paranoia.”

“Would you stop this? I get your joke. It scares me but I get it.”

“What joke? Number Four, Science …”

“Now,” I said. “That’s better. The advancement and support of science would be a great party platform."

“Is evil,” he said. “Number Five. Education ...”

“Well at least you are on the right track there. We need a better educational system for all.”

“Is unnecessary,” he said. “Number Six, Faith.”

“There you go again,” I said. “Faith in what?”

He gave me his best ‘dumb question’ look. “The Party first, guns second, exceptionalism third, and religion fourth.” He stopped and checked a note. “The right religion of course. Number Seven, Fear.”

Now that's the look we want on the face
of the voter at the November elections. - C.W.
“What do you mean? Fear is not a policy.”

“A policy is what makes a person vote your way, isn’t it? Shouldn’t it move people to action?”

“Well I don’t know …”

Just then, we heard a loud female voice from the kitchen. “Get in here right now,” it shouted. I rose and started hurrying in that direction.

He watched me, smiling, and I heard him making a note to himself as I left. “Move fear up to Number One,” he said.

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