Friday, January 15, 2016


Dear Ask The Alien:
My boyfriend says that if I don’t do certain things he wants, I don’t love him. I can’t mention what these things are as this is a family-oriented site, but believe me, it would take some gumption. Excuse me, I’m from the South and if your Galactic Universal Translator won’t tell you what “gumption” means, let me know. Anyway, the fact is: I don’t really love him, but he is rich and popular and has the neatest pickup truck at our high school and takes me fine places and buys me nice things and I wouldn’t want to give all that up. Currently, I'm the envy of my class. So, should I pretend to love him and live the good life, ... in other words, do as he says, be his faithful friend, and keep the benefits?
Living In Luxury

Dear Living in Luxury:
Thanks to my pal Big Dope, I know have a better understanding of what “friends with benefits,” means. Oh my. The key word here is “pretend.” And my advice is, don’t do what you suggest. Concentrate on your studies and not on practicing being married. Oh, and by the way, my GUT tells me many things, and I trust it. Please, you trust me. Gumption is good when used properly.
The Alien C.W.

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