He reemerged in as strange a getup and shape as I had ever seen him. He had on a double-breasted suit that could almost blind a person by its sheen. His hair was a dark auburn and shone to match the suit. It was piled on his head as if a slight shake might make it tumble into a haystack of oily confusion. He waved a hand, exposing a wrist circled by a Rolex watch and fingers encrusted with diamonds. His shoes were patent leather and completed the “sparkle” effect.
“Wadup child?” he said, making a sign of benediction.
“Uh,” I began before going speechless.
“Lay it on me, oh ‘Searcher for Truth,’ and let me sooth
your soul.” He sat on a couch, revealing patterned socks that matched perfectly
the color of his suit.
“We were discussing the concept of religion on your home
planet,” I said.
“Hmmm,” he said.
“Do you have such a concept?”
“Well,” he said as he thought it over. “We wouldn't buy into serpents who
speak in Hebrew to naked women.”
“No,’ I said. “I wouldn’t suppose so.”
“They tend to worship knowledge there,” he said. “That’s why
I’m here.” He stopped and thought for a moment then continued. “I’m not sure we
ever had a deity paradigm that espoused getting angry at the way its creation
was behaving and drowning everyone. Or nearly everyone.”
“Oh, really,”
“No, we would have believed that design flaws were the fault
of the designer.”
“Interesting,” I said.
“But we would like ‘The Song of Soloman,’” he added quickly.
“Oh really?”
“Oh man,” he said. “Want to hear some of my favorite
passages?”
“Maybe later,” I said.
“Ah, breasts like two young roses,” he said dreamily.
It was time to redirect the conversation. “But do you, on
your home planet, have a guiding philosophy, a religion that guides your moral
behavior?”
“Religion guiding moral behavior?” He pondered the question.
“Some say it does.”
“Like,” he thought for a moment, “… like killing children
who make fun of bald men?”
“As an extreme, I suppose.”
“Uh,” he said, “then no.”
“So you don’t see a connection between the two, religion and
moral behavior.”
He studied the question. “Isn’t behavior determined by
preservation of the individual, the group, and the species?”
 |
| If you don't mind the observation, this represents a bit of a strange method of what you call "Beta Testing." - C.W. |
“That’s a rather bleak picture, according to some,” I said.
“We can’t erase a picture simply because it seems bleak,” he
said. Suddenly he brightened and extended a finger towards me, exposing an onyx
cufflink set off by a sparkling ruby. “We would like the parts of your theology
that speak to blessing the meek.”
“Oh really?” I said.
“Yes,” and giving to the poor,” he said, becoming visibly
excited. “And lauding the peacemakers. And about agreeing with thine
adversaries quickly.”
Then he stopped and his face grew dark. “Except for those
damned liberals.”
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